And a Very Big 'Screw You' to You Too, Fate
by kieshagiesha
Summary: AU: Tahno's the Avatar, not Korra. Everything's different when your Avatar's a smug, cocky, I-can-do-anything bastard who cares way too much about his hair and owns enough makeup to put a Kyoshi Warrior to shame.
1. Fate's Gonna Make them Collide

**Rating: T for now, but eventual M**

**Pairing(s): Mostly Tahorra, but bits of Makorra, Borra, Korrasami, and Korroh.**

**Summary (well, not really): AU, in which Tahno's the Avatar, not Korra. Sometimes he wonders why the spirits chose him. They were so cruel, after all they did force him to meet ****_her_****. They say that every curse is a blessing in disguise, but they also said that every blessing was a masked curse. Somehow, these are both true, to his surprise, and it's quite the anomaly. But he's going to get to the bottom of this little enigma, and whether he likes it or not, he's going to need her help. Fate wouldn't have it any other way. Screw you, fate. Screw. You. **

"Ugh, this compound is _unbearable_! How am I supposed to socialize if I'm stuck here all the time?"

"Tahno, stop acting like a petulant little girl. Your duty to the world is far more important than—"

"The Avatar must be compassionate to all people, isn't it, _Master Kya_? And the only way to do that is to live with them, yes? And, in case you haven't noticed, there are no people that I can interact with." The boy smirked.

"Of course there are, bloody idiot!"

"I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. There are no people I can interact with _that won't bore me to tears_."

He was clever.

"I suppose you're right. Wouldn't want to cry out that eyeliner. How long do you take to get ready in the morning, again?"

His teacher was too.

"Whatever. I can't wait until I get to Republic City? It's my home, and I'd like to return."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. You're still learning firebending! Your test is approaching. And Tenzin will come _here_ to teach you. Besides, even if you were to go to the city, the Lotus is gonna have you on lockdown. You wouldn't be able to leave the island."

Tahno groaned.

Kya was referred to as a 'hippy' by most, and while she didn't exactly agree with the term, she was very calm, patient, and carefree. Most of the time. But Tahno agitated her to no end.

"My niece, Korra will be visiting in a few days, okay? You remember her, right? She should give you some company, and before you know it, you'll have passed your firebending test."

"Yeah."

Oh, he remembered Korra, alright.

"Play nice." She warned, aware of the sentiments her pupil harbored towards her niece.

…

"You know, there aren't many prodigies among waterbenders. I was actually the first one in hundreds of years. And then you came along, and totally stole my thunder. Well done, Master Korra." The old woman smiled with pride at the brash teenager that stood before her. they weren't blood related, but she felt a special bond with that girl.

"Thank you, so much, Master Katara. It's an honor to be taught by you. Even the Avatar doesn't have such a kickass Sifu!"

"I'm sure Kya is doing a fine job with him. I do wish that I could train my husband's reincarnation, but it is very hard for me to be away from the South Pole for so long. Speaking of leaving the tribe, are you ready for your visit up north?"

"Hell yeah I am!"

"And I assume you cannot wait to meet your cousins?'

Korra made a face. "I, uh, yeah, I love them and all but, Kirima and Kilak are kinda creepy sometimes…"

The old woman laughed heartily at Korra's predicted response. "Hey! Don't talk about my creepy grandkids like that!" she joked.

…

_A young boy, 8 years old, stared at his reflection in the ice wall on the outside of the building, fixing his hair, before a rather large snowball was chucked at his head, and he fell face first into the snow._

_"Hey! Who're you? Master Katara said that you were a boy but you don't look like one!" The six year old girl who threw the snowball at him giggled. She was chubby, but already had some muscle on her arms. She had three wolf tails, which looked rather silly in Tahno's opinion, and clothes that were really not warm enough for the North Pole, even in the spring._

_Tahno pushed himself off the ground, a deep scowl on his face, spitting out slush. "I'm the Avatar! Who do you think you are?"_

_"Oh! You're the Tahbo kid. I'm Korra. Master Kya's my auntie!"_

_Oh, so this was the adorable Korra that his sifu had been telling him about. He expected some cute little village girl. "It's Tahno, not Tahbo! And don't ever mess up my hair again!"_

_The girl giggled again, and even worse, she seemed totally unimpressed at his title. He was the Avatar! Kids usually worshipped him, but this, this girl…she was…ugh! Tahno's head hurt._

_The girl giggled again. It was rather endearing, but Tahno would never say so._

_"What's so funny?"_

_"It's just that…Avatar Aang was bald…and you care so much about some stupid hair! You are really girly!"_

_"And you look like a boy!"_

_"Do I really?" She wasn't the least bit put off by his comment. "I try to sometimes, because girls have to do dumb things like cook and clean and sew and wear dresses. I wanna fight!"_

_Tahno could only gape._

…

"Don't think too hard, Avatar Pretty Boy. You might start losing hair," Kya teased, her head peeking into his room, a joint in between her pearly white teeth.

The teenager stared at his master. "Are you smoking weed?"

She smirked. "Want some?"

"No! And what are you doing in my room?"

"I've come to tell you that Korra's here, and you need to greet her, like the proper and diplomatic Avatar that you are."

"I have begun to nurse a vendetta against your niece, I'm sorry to say."

"Expected. But too bad. Go say hi."

"I don't want to, okay, because—"

"Shh! Can you hear that?" She cut him off.

"What?"

"If I'm not mistaken, that's the sound of me not giving a shit. Now go say hi."

"You are nothing like Aang."

"Neither are you."

He huffed indignantly. "It's your own fault, you know. You told me that Korra was a sweet little village girl, and she wasn't. Had I known she was so…abrasive, I would have been prepared, therefore less wary about seeing her—oof!"

Kya had incased his body, all the way up to his neck, in ice. He tried to waterbend himself out, but it held him in a vice grip, then he tried to firebend himself out, but the ice was too thick. She moved her hand as to float him down the stairs. Once they reached the bottom, she freed him, and he bended all the water off of himself, snarling at his master, who obviously didn't care.

"Where is she? I don't see her any—ow!" A snowball pegged his back, and a familiar voice made him cringe.

"Long time no see, Almighty _Avatar_. I tried not to mess up your hair this time."

He could practically _hear_ the smirk in her voice.

**Okay, so this is really my first attempt at writing anything more than a two-shot, so bear with me. Tell me your thoughts, and I'm always looking for a beta!**

**Headcanons of mine that you should know to understand the story:**

**Kya's married to Unarock, making her Korra's aunt, even if this isn't true in season 2, this story is AU anyway, so fuck it.**

**Tahno was born in Republic City, but went to train in the NWT because he had relatives from there, and the White Lotus wasn't totally horrible, and wanted him to be comfortable. So, Kya would teach him, not Katara.**

**Tahno's mother was a trophy wife of sorts. She was a firebender, but barely used her bending because she was too busy being a socialite, and his dad, as a contrast, was a top notch waterbender, and a pro-bender. He started the White Falls Wolfbats. They rarely visit him, and he doesn't really care for his family in the Water Tribe, they only want to spend time with him because he's the Avatar.**

**Korra isn't the Avatar, but a very prodigious waterbender, and when Katara saw her little Grandniece practicing, she saw so much potential that she agreed to train her.**

**Korra and Tahno met once when they were kids, and it wasn't a memory that he likes to bring up often.**

**I'm actually going to put quite a bit of Iroh, because in this story, Bumi is married to Ursa (Zuko's daughter), making the General Katara's grandson and Kya's nephew. Korra and Iroh would have seen eachother, growing up, because they're cousins. But, they aren't blood related, so, not creepy.**

**Let me know if I should continue!**


	2. Two to Tango? Korra Can't Dance

**(So this chapter has drug use, but Kya is a hippie, so I HAD to have her smoke weed. And thank you for all the alerts on the last chapter! Yay!)**

He really didn't want her to see his face, it made him look weak. "Long time no see—Korra." He spat out her name, his back still turned to her.

She was a girl. A teenage girl. He was a teenage boy. An extremely good looking teenage boy, not to mention the Avatar. He could woo her into 'playing nice' with a simple smolder.

He spun around-a smug but suave smirk on his face—and immediately regretted it. As soon as he caught sight of her, his bravado faltered, the smirk wiped clean off his face.

In the eleven years since he had last seen her, she had…grown.

Well, of course she'd grown, but for some reason, he was expecting, well, a _guy_.

But Korra was…beautiful. And…very feminine. True, she had toned arms and he could see the outline of a six pack from underneath her tight, blue, sleeveless shirt, but she had other...assets as well. Like those very ample looking twins that were on her chest. Or those deep curves, or that nice, round ass, and _unf_, he was thirsty, she was quenching, and he drank her all in.

Wait.

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait.

No.

_No way_.

_No fucking way._

This was _Korra_.

_Kor-ra_.

He hated her with a passion!

Okay, maybe not quite, but, you get the idea.

He suddenly snapped out of his reverie, and realized that he had been drooling.

"Oh my god, what are you doing?" Korra was utterly disgusted and somehow totally flattered at the same time.

"He's mentally undressing you, dearie. Whatever you do, _don't make eye contact_. Tahno, don't perv on my niece." Kya deadpanned watching the two hormonal teenagers in front of her. Well, okay, one of them was hormonal; if Korra had any interest in Tahno, she didn't show it.

"Auntie! I didn't see you there! Been taking hits, huh?"

"You know it! Want some?"

"Do I even need to answer that?"

Kya chuckled, inhaling deeply. She pulled out a joint and a lighter out of nowhere, stuck the joint in Korra's mouth, and lit it. Her niece took a long drag and exhaled.

Tahno just looked at them. "My sixty something year old master is encouraging her underage niece to do drugs. This is who taught me waterbending. This lunatic."

"Hey! I'm not sixty-something!"

"Then how old are you?"

"I…uh…Korra, how old am I?"

"Sixty-three."

"FUCK! HOW DID I GET SO OLD?"

"How do you still have such good teeth, is the real question." Tahno muttered.

Korra caught this, and spread her arms out wide. "Water Tribe. Ahh." She loud-whispered.

"I'm Water Tribe, too."

She considered this. She did the same ridiculous thing with her arms, but this time whispered, "Southern Water Tribe. Ahh."

"But Master Kya lives in the—"

She backhanded him across the face, smearing his eyeliner in the process. "You had that coming. You're no fun, pretty boy." He forgave her because she was intoxicated.

Kya nodded sagely. "Wiser words were never spoken. Now, Korra and I need to catch up, so go make yourself useful and prepare the tea. Jasmine. And something to eat. Dried seaweed?" She looked to Korra, who gave a nod of approval. "Jasmine and seaweed it is."

Tahno stormed into the kitchen, muttering something like "Avatar…training for years…world's savior…and I'm making the fucking tea…"

…

Kya had been begging her to keep the Avatar company, so she did, begrudgingly, but decided to make the most of the situation. She loved her carefree lifestyle, and she really felt for Tahno, who had to stay cooped up in the compound. Though it was bigger than the one in the South Pole, it was no place for a child to grow up.

"Avatar Tahno! Master of Water, Earth, Fire, and Hair."

Tahno scowled and Korra ignored him.

"So pretty boy, got your firebending test coming up, eh? Think you can show me a few things."

If it were anyone else, they would have told her something along the lines of "You're a waterbender. Why would you need to learn firebender moves?" but Tahno was all too happy to show off his skill, especially when Korra said, "Scratch that, let's spar."

Tahno smirked. This girl did _not_ know how to pick her battles. "You know, you can't just go out and challenge the Avatar, Korra. You might get hurt, _sweetheart_."

Korra grimaced at the horrible nickname. _Oh, let's just see who gets hurt, Douchebender_, she thought.

"I guess we'll see. And it's Avatar Douchebender to you."

Apparently, she'd thought out loud again.

They both took their stances, Tahno a firebending one, and Korra a waterbending one. "Go for it, little girl. Hit me with your best shot."

But she didn't, so he struck first, punching a fireball towards her stomach, which she doused with a wave of water, which was also supposed to soak Tahno, but he froze it. Korra, however, not to be outdone, used his move to her advantage, sending a flurry of unforgiving ice spikes, fast, furious, precise; and although he had managed to evade most of them, he had gotten pinned to the ice wall enclosing the compounds courtyard, but melted the icicles, and escaped. Suddenly, Korra spotted the huge chunk of ice behind him. _Bingo_. For the next few minutes, all her attacks were offensive, and she only made a move when it was absolutely necessary. Tahno thought she was tired, whether it was ignorance or arrogance that made him think that, she didn't know, but suspected that it was a bit of both.

And there it was, her window of opportunity. Tahno's legs were far apart, as were his arms.

In one sweeping motion of her own arms, the ice block melted, and a gigantic wave came over Tahno like a monstrous turquoise blanket, and picked him up. His only reaction was to flail his arms around like a psychopath, unintentionally preforming the move that changed liquid into solid, water into ice. And, coincidentally, this move came into effect right as Tahno landed, on top of Korra, straddling the waist of the attractive young lady.

In all senses of the phrase, they really couldn't break the ice.


	3. Sparks Fly Among Other Things

**(Just a warning, this chapter is rated M for Tahno's dirty thoughts and him relieving the tension caused by those thoughts)**

"Tahno," Korra said sweetly, but that made it all the more scary. "What did you just do, sweetie?" If looks could kill, there'd be an Avatar from the Earth Kingdom sooner than they'd think.

"Well excuse me! I didn't mean to change it into ice! Let's try waterbending it."

"Our fucking hands and fucking feet are fucking trapped you ignorant fucking bastard."

"Oh. Huh."

She blew a raspberry in his face, since all her limbs were currently unable to move. "Use some firebending, are you _that_ dense?"

"Well, in case you didn't notice, my hands and feet are just as unable to move as yours are!"

"Use that one where you heat up your body."

"I would burn you."

"At least we'd get out of here."

"How do you even know about that move?"

"You don't give me enough credit, pretty boy."

He huffed. This girl was ruthless.

"Look, I'm pretty sure that—"

"Shh!" she said. "Someone's coming!"

"I don't hear anyone…"

Korra groaned. "Listen closer…or, maybe you might not want to…"

"Why would I—"

Then he heard it. Those voices, those chilling, brutally sarcastic, downright creepy voices. "Ah, fuck."

"Yep." She grimaced.

_"But mother wouldn't understand! She said that the dark magic caused too much worry and strain, and that we wouldn't be calm if we dabbled in the art!"_

_"Whatever, Kilak. As long as you don't touch my makeup, you can play with your toys all you want…"_

_"They're not toys!"_

The voices of her dear cousins drew closer and both teenagers started shaking in fear when two twins, a boy and a girl, came into view.

"Well, well, well…what do we have here? The Avatar and our cousin…so cliché, isn't it, Kilak?"

The girl had a smirk on her face that could only be described as pure evil, and the boy looked like he was about to punch something—probably Tahno—really hard.

"And in such a compromising position…what would Uncle Tonraq have to say to this? I wonder…"

"Hey guys! Um, Kiri, you wouldn't really tell my dad…" Korra tried to be smooth, but was betrayed by her nervous chuckling.

"Kirima." Tahno nodded his head to the girl. "Kilak." He nodded his head to the boy, not making eye contact with him. "It's not what it looks like…"

Tahno trailed off, as her saw Kilak rushed over to him, squatting down, and pulling his hair up so that Tahno was forced to look at him. "IT BETTER FUCKING NOT BE! I SWEAR, IF YOU MESS WITH KORRA I'LL MAKE SURE I SEE THE NEXT AVATAR IN MY LIFETIME!"

Kirima's purple-lined eyes grew wide, and she walked over to her brother, resting a manicured hand on her brother' shoulder. "Calm, Kilak, I think it's just a little misunderstanding," she cooed.

He released the older boy's hair, and snarled, and gave him the universal sign for 'I'm watching you.'

"Look, Kiri, please make yourself useful and get us out of here! I really don't want to be stuck to this loser for much longer."

"So, tell me, Korra, how did you get in this situation in the first place?" An even scarier smirk than the one before made its way onto her face.

"Erm, well, we were, um, sparring, and—"

"WHAT?"

"Relax Kilak, I mean actual sparring. Anyways, one thing led to another, and—"

"WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?"

"Stop interrupting me!"

"Okay, do continue," he sneered at his cousin.

"Then I sent a shit ton of water at Tahno and then it got frozen accidentally…Now can you get us the fuck out of here!"

"Why? You wanna get pounded by the Avatar somewhere more comfortable, eh, cuz?"

"Kiri!" Her brother sent a death glare her way and Tahno and Korra had matching tomato-red faces.

…

"Mom! We're back from hunting!" her son shouted. She knew that by 'hunting,' he meant preforming dark magic with his sister. Oh, the joys of having children. Her twins stepped through the door, followed by a drenched Korra and Tahno.

"You're soaking wet…"

"NO SHIT!" Tahno growled at his sifu.

"Okay, okay, calm down pretty boy, what happened?"

Before anyone else got the chance to speak, Kirima told her mother, matter-of-factly, "They were fucking in the snow."

Her brother, her cousin, and the Avatar looked ready to kill her, but Kirima simply shrugged. Kya was no help either. "Called it," the older woman deadpanned, then high-fived her daughter.

Kilak rolled his eyes at his mother. They really couldn't take anything seriously, could they?

"I swear to god, if you weren't my aunt…" Korra gritted her teeth.

"Relax, relax, we're only teasing. Besides, I know that you'd never touch Avatar Sleazebag."

"I'm going to bed!" Tahno yelled, storming off to his room.

"Dinner?" Kya shouted to his retreating figure.

"I'm on a fucking diet!" He yelled from the stairs.

"Suit yourself, you're going the wrong way!" Korra yelled back.

His stomping stopped, and he went back down the stairs, into the kitchen, flipping off a smug looking Korra, and through the opposite hallway that lead to his bedroom.

"That jerk."

…

That night, they had supper at the compound, because Korra was to stay there. She would've stayed with Kya, but her house wasn't big enough, and didn't have its own stables to house Naga.

"Mmm, fire nation food…I mean, I love Water Tribe noodles and all, but, damn, I missed this stuff!"

Her aunt waved away the compliment, trying and failing to be modest. "Well, you know, with your uncle on another one of those 'spiritual' thingies, I have a lot more time on my hands."

"So, cuz…" Kirima started. "Tahno?"

Kilak tensed up.

Korra was confused. "What about him?"

"You like him?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Korra snorted. "Do not. He's the Avatar, sure. But I'm not just some small-town floozy who's gonna hang onto his every word just because of a title and the fact that he can bend a few more element s than the rest of us."

"It's not just the title and the bending, though. You find him cute. Admittedly, I did too, but I fancy myself a nice Earth Kingdom boy…"

"I guess, a bit. I mean, he's a change from the traditional water tribe look, but just because I find him attractive, doesn't mean I'm attracted to him."

"Look, this is not a dinner table-type conversation."

"No." Kya shooed away her son, leaning forward, "Do go on girls, this is very interesting."

"There's nothing else to say, auntie. While we're on the subject of our favorite Avatar, how's Tahno's training going?"

"His firebending test is coming up, you'll be here to watch, as will Mom, and then Tenzin is supposed to come train him up here. I'm not sure how _that's_ going to work out, considering that the situation there is very serious. I'm sure you've heard?"

"I have, Does Tahno know?"

"The White Lotus thinks it is best to keep him in the dark about matters like that."

"What? But Tahno's the Avatar!"

"Korra, Amon and the equalists are a bigger threat than you think. Their movement is very powerful."

"Yes, well, who knows what they could do if Tahno doesn't master the four elements soon enough? He needs to become a fully realized Avatar, and he need the motivation. He's gonna find out. And I don't want to have to be the one to tell him. But if you keep hiding it from him, I'll have to. I don't want him to find out when being attacked by chi-blockers."

Kya's face fell, her niece had a good point, and she huffed in defeat. "Well then. You guys can finish dinner and do the dishes. Kiri, Kilak, come back home by midnight. My backache is bitchin' and my bong is singing to me. I'm gonna head back home _Kya, come take a hit, or two, or three…_"

…

Tahno's stomach groaned. He really shouldn't have skipped dinner and slept on an empty stomach. Of course, he wasn't really sleeping, he was just having some…'reflection time.' How dare this girl-this girl who he had met but a few days ago—have such an effect on him? With her tight shirt and her baggy pants and her hideous boots, and _who the fuck would wear their hair in three ponytails_?

Back to his hunger.

He tiptoed downstairs, into the common room slash kitchen, just to get a quick bite to eat, when he saw her.

In cotton booty shorts and chest wraps that were thin enough to show two little points where her nipples were.

She turned around, an innocent look on her face, holding a moon peach. "Are you hungry, fancy a peach, Avatar?"

_Yeah_, he thought, _But a different kind of peach than you're talking about_.

"Whaddya say, Pretty Boy? Wanna eat my peach?"

"Hmm?" was all he managed. Was this happening? Was this gorgeous girl really trying to seduce him?

Tahno froze up. All of Tahno froze up. Even a certain part of his lower body, located between his legs—"!"

He left behind an extremely dazed sweatpants-clad Korra. "Weird kid. I just asked him if he wanted a moon peach."

…

Tahno was up in his room, all but hyperventilating. He was sweating, but it was cold, so…wait. If it was cold, Korra wouldn't be wearing shorts and an a bra to sleep, and…

He imagined the whole thing.

He slapped his forehead hard. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Now he was hungry, tired, and sexually frustrated. It was way too early to even think about her like that, much less have hallucinations that were so…graphic. _Something_ twitched between his legs. "Ugh! Like I fucking need that!"

Pulling it out of his pants, he gripped the erection, quickly pumping his fist up and down his length, fast and hard. A mixture of moans, groans, and something that sounded vaguely like 'Korra' came out of his mouth. Right before he was about to come, he grabbed a small towel so that he wouldn't have to clean up later. He blew his load in three easy shots into the soft fabric.

Tahno didn't sleep the whole night.


	4. In Which They go to the City

**(Just gonna clear shit up. Korra's gonna be a little OOC. Why? She's very prideful because she's the Avatar, and since she's not, in this story, she's more cautious. She wouldn't jump into things like she did at the end of 'Voice in the Night,' and she wouldn't be as impatient, like she was in the last three episodes. Tahno's still very prideful, but Korra's not. She's practical, and a very talented girl. Already a waterbending prodigy, a healer, a master swordswoman, she learns Firebending, Earthbending, and Airbending forms, even though she cannot bend these elements, but she believes she will be able to develop more techniques from drawing inspiration from the other nations, just as Uncle Iroh did.**

**Also, as far as chapters go, at this point, I'll start with the actual story, where Tahno's taking his firebending test. I'll have 1-3 chapters based on each of the LoK episodes. Episode 5 would be maybe one longer chapter, whereas episode 11 might be around three. It depends on the events of the episode. You'll be able to tell which chapters correspond to which LoK episodes. BUT KEEP IN MIND: THE EVENTS IN **_**THIS**_** STORY WILL BE DIFFERENT. For example, Korra's relationship with Bolin, Mako, and Asami will be different, Tahno won't lose his bending so early on, Korra and Mako wouldn't face Amon in the finale, things like that. Make sense? It better. ON WITH THE STORY!)**

"Tahno, I don't care, you have to get some sleep!"

"But I—"

"YOU HAVE A FIREBENDING TEST TOMORROW!"

"Ugh."

"If you're not going to sleep, practice. I want to see some moves."

_Oh I'll show you some moves. In my bed._

"Korra, darling, I want to go to the city. I haven't been out in ages. Come on, I'll show you around, it'll be fun."

"Don't pull that bullshit with me. You can't pass your test with a hangover."

_This girl. I swear to Yue._

"Fine. I'll practice." He agreed. There was just no winning wit this chick.

…

Tahno did a series of flying kicks and twists and flaming punches, trying his best to impress Korra.

"Sharper, faster kicks and punches! Don't smooth it all together! It's not waterbending!"

He growled, but changed his stance and movements nevertheless.

"It's not earthbending either! No, stop being so jerky and stiff!"

_If only she knew._

He really, really needed to get his mind out of the gutter.

Anyways. What the fuck did _she_ know about firebending?

"What the fuck would _you_ know about firebending?"

"it's funny you should ask that. As you know, I'm a waterbending prodigy, officially mastering the element at fifteen. In between my waterbending training, I learned the way of the sword, as well as many other weapons, even hand-to-hand combat. In addition, I have also learned firebending, earthbending, and airbending forms."

"Why?"

"Just for funsies. I was bored."

Tahno wanted to slap the smug smirk on her face. He probably would have, except her face was way too pretty to be marred by anything. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Okay, okay, you got me. Katara always told me stories about how General Iroh invented a new firebending technique by observing waterbenders. I figured I could do it too. Vice versa, of course."

"And you think you can learn some fancy-schmancy waterbending circus trick by learning firebending moves?"

"Yep, that's about right."

"You're one of a kind, Korra."

"Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"Take it as both."

…

Korra, Kya, Katara, along with the three White Lotus' and Tahno's firebending master, watched carefully as the young Avatar battled his two opponents.

"He's strong." Katara remarked.

"While I don't want to question your judgment, mother, I believe that brute force will not help him reach his full potential."

"Agreed. I mean, he could have used a grapple there—" Korra pointed to Tahno, the firebender in front of him "—but he didn't. Has he ever learned hand-to-hand combat?"

"Yes, actually," a Lotus spoke up. "We could only get him to learn the basics. He didn't believe that it was a necessary skill to learn if you were a bender."

"That pride is going to get him nowhere," the Firebending Master spoke, shaking his head.

…

"I still can't believe you passed."

"What can I say Korra, I'm fabulous."

"You are so full of it."

"I'd like _you_ to be full of _me_," he muttered.

"What was that?'

"I said: Who are _you_ to tell _me_? You can practice all the moves you want, but at the end of the day, you're still a waterbender."

"Yes. But I'm a better waterbender than you." Korra had a very smug smirk on her face.

"Why you little bit—"

"Okay! Break it up you two! 'Zin's gonna be here in a while, and I want him to see an uninjured Avatar. And a healthy Korra. So cut it the fuck out, 'kay?"

The two teenagers grumbled what might have been an agreement.

…

"Are we here yet? Are we here yet? Ooh, I think…this looks very familiar—"

"Yes Ikki," groaned an exasperated Tenzin, landing an equally exhausted Oogi. "As I have been telling you for the past fifteen minutes, we are—finally— here." The tattooed man dismounted the bison, Meelo chewing on his head.

"Hello Mother, Sister. I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you. Please. Take him."

Katara chuckled, extremely happy to see her family.

"Unhand me strange woman!"

They went through the usual banter, Jinora talked history, Pema talked about the baby, and Ikki talked about…everything.

"Tahno? Korra?"

"Hello Tenzin!" The Avatar greeted, oddly polite.

"Hey Uncle 'Zin!" Korra replied enthusiastically.

"So, bro, how long are you gonna train Tahno for?" Kya asked.

Tenzin's face fell. "About that…"

"You're not staying, are you?" Katara said, her smile vanishing.

…

"Tenzin, why must I wait for so long?"

"Tahno, I have a responsibility to the city."

"I could go to the city with you!"

"Absolutely not!" the White Lotus Sentry cut in. "The city is far too dangerous. Avatar Aang tasked us with keeping you safe!"

"How can you keep me here? I've been stuck in a little compound for the past 17 years!"

"Tahno, I'm sorry. The situation there is very unstable."

"Really? If it was so bad, why haven't I heard about it?"

Tenzin fell silent.

"What exactly is going on there, I'd like to know. I'm the Avatar, for spirits sake! I should know! I need to learn airbending, and if your hindering the process of making me a fully realized Avatar, you're not doing your job right!" Tahno slammed his bowl down on the table with a sense of finality, and shot up out of his seat, walking out the door.

"Tahno!"

…

The boy came out from the dining room, fuming.

"What went on in there, pretty boy?" Kya asked. She had never seen Tahno this angry.

"They keep telling me how 'unstable' the situation is. What exactly is the fucking situation, huh? Because it must not be that important, if even the Avatar has no clue what's going on!"

Korra shot Kya a look. Angry, but smug.

"I told you, auntie! I fucking told you to tell him and now look what happened. I should have just told him myself."

"Told me what?"

…

"And he has _armies_ of chi-blockers?"

"Yup…'fraid so."

"I can't believe…all this time…I had no clue."

"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. I'll make it up to you.'

"What are you talking about Korra? You don't have to—"

But she was already gone, inside the room where Tenzin was talking to his mother and sister.

…

"Korra?"

"Hey Tenzin. Why are you making Tahno wait? He needs to learn airbending as fast as possible! Why are you—"

"Korra don't go sticking your nose in to things that are none of your business!"

"Oh, you bet it's my business. The world's gonna suffer without an Avatar, and it's gonna be kinda your fault, Tenzin."

Silence. Tahno was worried.

"I'll make you a deal, Tenzin. He can go to Republic City…"

"I've told you! It's not safe for him!"

"Let me finish! He goes to the city, and I'll personally guard him."

"Korra, you're seventeen—"

"And a heck of a lot more capable than any of your sentries," Kya finished.

Tahno strolled into the room. "I don't need a babysitter."

"It doesn't matter! Tahno isn't going to Republic City, and that is final!"

"Tenzin, your father wouldn't want this." Katara told him quietly, sipping at her tea.

…

"Bye Gran-Gran! Bye Auntie! " Ikki piped up from her seat on the saddle.

"Goodbye Kids! And Pema!"

"What about me?" Tenzin asked his sister.

"I said kids, didn't I?"

Tenzin pouted. "Oogi, Yip yip!" And the bison took off.

Tahno was pouting as well.

"What's the matter, Tahno?" Pema asked.

"Oh, don't worry about Avatar Emo over her, he's just sad he didn't get to take all his clothes. And shoes. And makeup. And perfume. And—"

"OKAY, WE GET IT, KORRA!" Tahno snarled at her.

"Is that what that is?" asked Jinora. "No wonder you smell like my mom…"


	5. Housebroken Avatar

"Here it is. Air Temple Island," Jinora informed Tahno and Korra monotonously.

"WELCOME TO MY DOMAIN!" Meelo added, roaring afterwards.

"YAY! WE'RE HERE!" Ikki squealed.

"It's...scenic," Tahno remarked, his bored tone resembling Jinora's to a frightening degree.

Tahno sighed. "It feels good to be back in the city again! I can't wait to go see—"

"Not so fast. You are to remain on the island. It is far too dangerous for you to leave." Tenzin told him sternly.

"Oi, Tenzin, not this crap again. Let Avatar Eyeliner have his fun and then he can finally shut the fuck up and learn his marble tricks."

Tenzin pouted. "Absolutely not! I have allowed Tahno to come to the city, _solely due to your promise_, _that you would keep him safe_, and _personally_ protect him. Do _**not**_ push your luck! And what is with your language? _Teenagers..._"

"Yipee! Look Korra! That's the city, and that's Yue Bay! Did you know it was named after Great-Uncle Sokka's ex-girlfriend from the North Pole who had to sacrifice her life for the moon spirit and Uncle Sokka was really sad so he named the bay after her? Didja? Huh?!"

"Um…yeah, Ikki. I knew that."

"Ooh! I can see the other sky bison from here! Hey Tahno, have you been on a sky bison before this trip? I don't think you have because you look very green like almost as green as Jinora when she—"

The child was promptly cut off when Jinora, blushing, covered her mouth with her hand.

"_Mmpf!_"

"I wouldn't have to do this if you knew when to shut your mouth, Ikki!"

"Now, Jinora, we don't need that kind of talk here! Meelo might hear you!" Pema scolded, although Meelo was sound asleep in his mother's lap, and showed no sign of waking up anytime soon.

"Ugh. I wish _I couldn't_ hear _any_ of you."

"Tahno, would you stop? You know, if you'd like, we can send you straight back to the North Pole, and you can go back to waiting in the tiny little compound obsessing over your hair, and spending all day applying and reapplying your eyeliner until you look like a raccoon on opium!"

This seemed to shut the Avatar up, and he lay there, simply pouting.

…

"So...where do we sleep. Because I seriously need to crash."

"It _has_ been a long day." For once, Tenzin and Korra saw eye-to-eye.

Jinora looked around, and seeing that Meelo was nowhere to be found, sighed and said, "I'll show you to the boy's dormitories. Ikki, please take Korra to the female's side." She needed to talk to Tahno anyways.

…

"You like Korra," The young airbender looked at the Avatar.

"Excuse you. Go play with your dolls, kid," he replied. But in his head, he was thinking, _Either this child is incredibly perceptive or I'm just that readable_.

"In fact," she added, ignoring his comment, "I bet you'd want to jump her." Tahno spluttered, an incredulous look on his face, and Jinora merely raised her eyebrows.

"Is it that obvious," he asked, wincing.

"I'm afraid so. I bet you have wet dreams too, yes?"

"Exactly how old are you?"

"Old enough."

He gave her an 'are-you-fucking-with-me' look, and she quickly replied, "Ten. Anyways, here's your room."

…

"You like Tahno, you like Tahno!"

"And exactly why would you ever think that?"

"Because you're both really good at bending, and from the Water Tribe, and have pretty hair! It's perfect!"

Korra smiled at Ikki's naïve logic. "That means nothing, Ikki. You and your sister...I swear..."

"But you _totally_ like him."

"You don't need to confirm it! I already know."

"Uh..."

"Don't worry! I won't! My lips—sealed!" She made a motion of zipping her lips, locking them with an invisible key, and throwing away the key. But then she opened her mouth again. "That one is your room!" Ikki informed her, pointing to a screen door.

Korra sighed. Her? Like Tahno? Might as well make out with a mop.

…

"Hey! Hey, Jin! Jin! JinJinJin! Hey, Ji—"

"WHAT IS IT IKKI?"

"Korra likes Tahno!"

Jinora gasped, and smiled in a way that was not okay for a ten year old. "Well, that works out rather nicely. Tahno likes Korra, as well."

"It's perfect! We should tell them!"

"We will do no such thing. This takes careful planning and concentration. You better keep that big mouth of yours shut, or I'll have to tell mom about you stealing her makeup."

"Yes Ma'am!"

…

"No. _No way_. I am _not_ wearing **that**!"

"Pretty boy, be practical, it's just for training. Nobody's gonna check you out. They don't care!"

"I care!"

"Don't be a difficult child. If you want' I'll wear one too."

"Really? You'd do that for me?" Tahno reveled in the idea of seeing Korra in tighter pants.

"Yes, really. Not hurry the fuck up and get changed!" Korra pushed him inside the bathroom, throwing a set of airbending clothes at him, and unceremoniously slamming the door.

"Ugh," she groaned, rubbing her temples. "I swear, that boy…"

"Regretting a decision, are we?"

"No, Tenzin. Still not regretting it."

"Good. Here are some clothes for you. Since you told Tahno that you'd be wearing them, as well."

Korra growled and snatched the clothes from him, stomping her way back to the female bathrooms.

…

"For your first lesson—"

"You have to make it through these gates and the gates are a bagillion years old and they're something called an artifact but I don't know what that is and Daddy says it's a treasure but how can it be a treasure if it isn't sparkly and also they spin so you have to go through them while they spin!"

"Psh. _Spinning gates?_ I got this, no problem."

He rushed into them, a smirk on his face, only to be wiped off by the plank of wood that hit his side. Then his head. Then right in the crotch. Tenzin winced.

"_MY FUTURE CHILDREN_!" Tahno cried, flying out of the contraption. Landing with a thud on the ground.

Korra snickered.

"Oh, you find it funny, huh? Why don't you give it a go, O Great Korra?"

"I have to do a thing…" she said, in between snorts, walking away.

…

"Why the long face, pretty boy?"

"I can't meditate. I can't airbend. I can't be a totally flawless Avatar. And I can't get off this damn island. And thanks to those horrid gates, I can't _get off_ at all, if you know what I—"

"Eugh. Yeah, more than I needed to know. But where do you want to go? I'm if I went with you, Tenzin would say yes."

"But that would make you my babysitter. I'm the fucking Avatar, I don't need this! But…if you gotta know…I want to see my siblings."

"Siblings? What are they like? Damn, I wish I had siblings…all I have are those creepy excuses for cousins…"

"Well, I have an older brother, Ren. He's on the family probending team, the Wolfbats, yeah? So Tenzin won't let me go see him play, because he thinks it's a 'mockery of bending or whatever,' but I'm pretty sure he's just bitter because there aren't enough people to airbend."

Korra giggles at this. "And…?"

"What?"

"You said sibling_s_."

"Oh." He laughed bitterly. "I have a sister. A bit younger, she was an accident. Hina."

"Tell me about her."

"Well, she's probably working the corner at the Red Lantern District."

Korra took a second to process this bit of information. "But…I thought your family was rich?"

"They are, but my fool of a sister is just that much of a desperate slut. Sometimes, I wonder how she hasn't gotten some disease, or how I'm not an uncle yet."

"That's…wow."

…

Yes! If he could get past those damn lotuses, he could get past…anybody.

Fuck.

Anybody but Korra, that is.

"So, Pretty Boy, nice night for sneaking out, huh?"

"It's not what it looks like."

"It looks like you're trying to tiptoe away right under old man Tenzin's nose, to go see your brother."

"I…uh…"

"Are you stupid?!"

He winced, preparing for the barrage of insults and the inevitable 'Going to tell Tenzin.'

"How do you think you'd get in without tickets?"

She gave him a crooked smile, and flashed out two white pieces of paper.

"Let's go, pretty boy."

And with that, they dived into the blue depths of the bay, and swam, synchronized, off to the golden dome that was the arena.

**(Sudden plot twist: I updated! Tahorra week is going to start soon, and the first theme is AU. And guess what. This is an AU. Since I'm lazy, I won't write separate one-shots for each theme. Instead, I'll do each chapter of this story, based on a theme. By the way, it will take me more than a week to fulfill all the prompts. But seriously. If you ship it hard enough, every week is Tahorra Week! ALSO, Hetalia Shipping Update: PruHun! I haven't loved a Het ship so much since Tahorra. And, Gerita reminds me of Broh. Yummy yum yum.)**


	6. Probending Backwards to Please You

**Quick note, the match that the Ferrets play in this chapter is the one before the match we see in 'Leaf in the Wind.' It's the match right after the one that Korra listens to on the radio. Both matches happen on the same night. Also, since Korra never listened to that match on the radio, she has no idea who Mako is prior to seeing the match.**

"Yes, yes, YES! Korra and Tahno are going on a date, Tahno and Korra, Korra and Tahno, Tahnorra, Tahorra—"

"Ikki! Shh! They can't _know_ we're spying!"

"Sorry Jin! It's just so exciting! They're finally together!"

"It's actually pretty amazing how quickly Korra confessed her loved for Tahno."

"Well, she didn't exactly _confess_…"

"WHAT?!"

"I mean, she didn't say that she liked Tahno, but…"

"IKKI! WHAT HAVE YOU _DONE_?"

…

"So, what team are they playing?"

"Hmm…let's see…The Fire Foxes, or something, I think."

"_The Fire Ferrets_? Really?"

"Don't bother. Those guys are the underdogs. Plus, the waterbender's pretty crappy."

"I bet you'd want to be in a pro-bending team."

"Would not. I am an honorary member of the White Lotus."

"Who snuck me off the island. Also, you're missing that _fabulous_ uniform."

"INTRODUCING…THE WOLFBATS!"

Three men came out, and Korra could recognize Tahno's brother among them. Although, it was bit hard, what with all the fireworks and flowers and flying of capes, and the wolf howls and crowd cheering. Oh, and the panties. Lots and lots of panties.

"What…"

"AND THEIR OPPONENTS, THE FIRE FERRETS!"

Feminine (and brave masculine) voices cried:

"AH! I LOVE YOU BOLIN!"

"BOLIN! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE!

And the more obscene:

"GET IN MY PANTS, BOLIN!"

"HAVE MY BABIES, BOLIN!"

"Ugh."

"I bet you'd say stuff like that too. You know, if you were a normal girl, and you know, not Korra."

"What the fuck is that supposed to—"

"Shh! The match is starting!"

"AND, IT'S OFF TO AN _EXPLOSIVE_ START, AS THE TWO FIREBENDERS FACE OFF! MAKO LOSES HIS FOOTING A BIT FROM SHAOZU'S _NARROWLY MISSED_ SHOT, AND—OH, _WOULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THAT_, FOLKS, IT SEEMS THAT WOLFBAT WATERBENDER _REN_ SEEMS TO BE SLIPPING A BIT OF _ICE_ INTO HIS PREFORMANCE! REFS, THIS IS A CALL FOR YOU! OR, I GUESS NOT! ARE YOU SURE WE'RE LOOKING AT THE SAME PLAYERS? REFS MUST BE _DISTRACTED_ TONIGHT!"

"Hey, HEY! That was clearly a foul, Tahno, did you see that? A foul!"

"What that was—" He paused dramatically, "—was genius."

"He cheated!"

"So?"

"So? The refs didn't tell them off?"

"Yeah, sneaky little bastard, Ren is. But he can be awesome sometimes."

"You idiot, that means he paid off the refs!"

"Oh…"

"Yeah!"

"That's dirty."

"Mm-hmm."

…

"LOOKS LIKE THE FELLAS FROM WHITE FALLS ARE UP TO MORE OF THEIR ANTICS, MING SEEMS TO BE BREAKING THE EARTH DICS INTO PIECES? OKAY, REFS, YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT WAS AGAINST THE RULES! AND THERE'S SHAOZU AGAIN, WITH A HEADSHOT AT BOLIN! AND INTO THE DRINK HE GOES! DON'T KILL ME, LADIES, HE'LL BE RIGHT BACK FOR ROUND TWO—IF HIS BROTHER AND HASOOK CAN HOLD OFF THEIR CONTOVERSIAL OPPONENTS, THAT IS!"

"SPIRITS, REF! THE FUCK WAS THAT?"

"Calm down, Korra."

"No!"

…

"AND ROUND ONE GOES TO THE WOLFBATS!"

"SON OF A _BITCH_!"

"My mum was quite alright, actually."

…

"ROUND THREE…MIRACULOUSLY GOES TO THE FIRE FERRETS! BUT BARELY! LOOKS LIKE YOUR DIRTY TRICKS CAN'T STOP THESE THREE FERRETS TONIGHT!"

"THEY WON THE ROUND!"

"But barely."

…

"Tahno! What are they gonna do? It's the final round and Hasook and Bolin are in the drink and Mako's the only one there and he's up against all three of the Wolfbats!"

"I think you might have a favorite team. Why it happens to be my brother's rival team, I do not know. But you sound like Ikki, and I do not need that. No."

"AND IT'S THREE AGAINST ONE, AND THE ODDS ARE _NOT_ IN THE FERRETS' FAVOR! MAKO'S TEETERING AT THE EDGE OF THE RING, AND I DON'T THINK HE'S GONNA MAKE IT MUCH LONGER! SEEMS LIKE REN'S SHOT MIGHT—OH! NOPE, MAKO'S STILL HOLDING ON, FOLKS, BY A _THREAD_! HE'S ADVANCING, AND WE CAN _REALLY_ SEE THE 'COOL UNDER FIRE STYLE HE'S SO FAMOUS FOR! AND HE'S GOT SHAOZU _RIGHT BACK_ INTO WOLFBAT TERRITORY, AND THERE GOES MING, ALL THE WAY BACK INTO WOLFBAT ZONE _TWO_! _MAN_, HAS THIS KID GOT SOME _POWER_!"

"Yes. Yes he does."

"Wow, Avatar Hairgel thinks he's good. Must be something special."

"SHAO'S NOT DOING SO WEEL HIMSELF, HE'S QUICKLY PUSHED BACK A ZONE WITH HIS BUDDY MING! REN'S BACKING UP, AND INTO ZONE ONE OF HIS OWN SIDE, WITH HIS BUDDY SHAOZU, HE—OH! THERE'S THAT BELL! AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE LAST ROUND GOES TO THE FERRETS! TWO MORE MATCHES, AND THEY'VE GOT THE TOURNAMENT IN THE BAG!"

"WOOHOO! FERRETS! YEAH! YOU SHOW THOSE _DOUCHE_BATS A THING OR—whoops, sorry. I forgot that was your brother."

"Whatever. It's quite amazing that they won, actually."

"I thought you said that Mako was talented."

"Yes, but not talented enough to beat all three Wolfbats. Actually, he didn't. It was luck that the match ended then and there."

"Buzz kill."

…

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Wolfbats. Probending's saddest excuse for a team."

"Tahno? Is that really you? Man, I didn't know you were coming to the city!"

"Neither did us, until recently."

"And who the girl?"

"Korra, she's—"

"His babysitter. He's allowed to train in Republic City under the strict orders that a keep tabs on him at all times." Korra smirked.

Ren and his teammates laughed. "Bro…oh spirits…I can't…wow. Just…wow. Well, Korra, be careful, he wasn't potty trained until he was eight, so—"

Korra giggled, and Tahno was seething. "Moving on to other things…why did you guys pay off the refs/"

"You're right, we shouldn't have, because we still lost."

"It was still wrong. Especially if you won."

"Well we didn't. Sorry we can't be as perfect as you, _Avatar_."

"Avatar?" Ming asked, gaping, his once expressionless mug faltering.

"Dude, you never told us your brother was the Avatar!" Shaozu told his waterbending teammate.

"I'm not perfect. But you were so bad you cheated, and you couldn't win."

"YOU LITTLE FUCK! You know, Mom and Dad don't even care about you, they just want to see you because—"

"That's enough, Ren. Let's go." Ming dragged him by the arm, into the shower rooms.

"I'm sorry…about him," Shaozu stuttered. He was talking to the _Avatar_.

"Douchebag," Tahno muttered, when he Wolfbats left.

"And you willingly wanted to go see him?"

"Yeah. He may be the city's biggest ass, but he also happens to be my brother. Plus…he was right. My parents don't care about seeing _Tahno_. They care about seeing the _Avatar_."

"Tahno, I—"

"Hello there pretty lady and guy with neat hair! Not tryna be rude, but who are you? And what are you doing here?"

"Bolin, he's Ren's brother."

"And how'd you know he's my brother."

"Because you look the freaking same. Maybe."

Tahno and Mako stared eachother down, both his brother's and Korra's eyes darting from the Avatar to the firebender.

Finally, Korra broke the awkward silence. "Right…and you must be Mako and Bolin? Congratulations on your match, you guys are amazing! I'm Korra, and this is Tahno."

"Well…what can I say? We try our best. Especially Mako over here. Bro's got some skill. But, y'know, ladies love me, 'cause I'm gorgeous. Kidding, kidding. But man, you wouldn't believe how many panties I've gotten."

"Speaking of panties, Bo, where's Hasook?"

Confused as to why panties and Hasook had anything to do with eachother, the earthbender gave his brother a weird look before saying, "Ay, the waterbending Diva left early."

"Yeah, your waterbender seemed out of it today. But I have to say, Ferret, you're pretty good at firebending. I mean, look at you, winning and all, even though my brother was cheating. Not bad."

"Well…thanks. So glad to have my firebending praised by a…_ah_…waterbender."

"Actually, I'm a firebender as well."

"Oh, so not like big bro in that aspect, eh?"

"No, I'm a waterbender too."

Mako and Korra's eyes widened.

"Wait, are you…"

"Tahno, not the time for you to be telling the world thing like this..." Korra warned. If this got out, Tahno could be put in a lot of danger.

"And for future reference, I can earthbend as well."

"It's…nice to meet you, um…." Mako cleared his throat, "Avatar…Tahno…"


End file.
